1st Life Report

Recently I read a "report" on life from a relative and thought that it was an awesome idea to put to practise, partially it helps in recollecting the past events of my life and amazing experiences that has been graciously given by God. Therefore, as a start, this new blog of Thinkerish will just do that as I celebrate my 26th Birthday today..

26th years has passed by since a wonderful woman delivered me to this world (not forgetting the man though..nanti jealous pula) and it has been 26th years this life have struggled within himself and with the world to understand his placing and purpose of existence. From primary school till tertiary education, I have been priviledged to experience a wonderful upbringing whether at home or in school. Since young, my education performance was usually above average and there was always something to be proud of in life:

Primary:
Elocution rep for school, Badminton player for school

Secondary:
School Debater competing in state level, Sportsman, President of a few organisations (best being the President for  school graduation magazine), Active in the Boys' Brigade of Malaysia and Scout Troop

University:
Active in all levels of Residential College activities, RC Squash player, Vice President of Student Representative Council

Then in my 23rd year living in this world, things started to change dramatically in my life. It was the year when formal education takes a back seat and it is about facing the world where you work to survive on monthly salary and no more on pocket money or scholarship benefits. First year working life wasn't the best year of my life (by far) and at certain point, it was shear pain and nearing depression. Church life then did not exist and not having a Christian group to support was tough.
*for those who do not know my background, I am used to moving around in few years. Thus the understanding that I do not have a strong church group of friends to help me along in terms of spiritual need*
This was also the year that I lost my mom to cancer and that incident has since left me with a big hole of emptiness and I am still in the process of recuperating from its after effect. However, the passing of my mom has also since change certain perception of my life and brought me back in search for the Almighty God.

Spiritual Life
Growing up in a Christian family has in a way made me take religion for granted as it is a way of life and I've not really question in terms of what my believe system are. God has always been mentioned and prayed to during Sunday services, before meals, worship etc but God was never really there personally in my life (at least in my opinion). It was the practise to attend bible study, sunday school, be active in church activities and losing the real purpose of doing all these activities. God works in mysterious ways and at times, very harsh methods to discipline His believers. It was actually through my mom's passing that I started to search back for God (at first, it was due to frustration and anger at HIM for allowing my mom to pass on), started to read my Bible to know for sure whether should I still believe in a God who allowed this wonderful woman in my life to die and should I leave the faith; and wanting to serve back in Church ministry in any capacity to fill in the emptiness. The whole process lead me to find answers and revelation of many things I did not anticipated.

Through the whole experience, I realised that God has enabled me to feel compassion at a very deep level, to share and connect with those who are suffering (whether it is family break up or losing a love one), faith to encourage that God still loves and care when we're suffering like crazy. I wish things could have been different but the more I think of it, God indeed has a greater plan in our life but being human, I still wish that the price I had to pay for a change in my life was not by her death.


Career
Ever since graduation, I didn't really rely on God's advice in terms of where to head to, it was mainly about who pays a higher salary and where the job prospect lies. In this area too, God decided to take me on a ride with few tempting prospective options such as pursuing a Masters in the UK with Scholarship and a chance to enter an international consulting firm after working a year in the market. However, it is quite obvious that these options didn't work out for very specific reasons..Which leads to me joining the Civil Service as a PTD officer now based in the Economic Planning Unit, PM's Department.

Honestly, I would have never dreamt myself joining civil service as both my parents are very dedicated people who serves the country and yet, let's just say it usually goes un-notice and un-appreciated. However, with every opportunity that came knocking, it seems that one by one they kept closing on me till this letter of acceptance I received from SPA one day asking me to report for duty. After much thought and prayer, there was a sense of calmness in me that to quit my job and enter service. So, as the saying goes, the rest is history.. What is the plan God has for me in this place of public service? I really do not know for sure but what I know is, I will continue to serve as long as He thinks I am needed.


Relationship
Tricky thing to actually talk about in a public domain. Nonetheless, here goes =)
I used to think that by the age of 30, I would be holding my first son/daughter (meaning I'll  be married at least by 29 years old). However, as the years go by and the window called "time" is closing on me, it seems harder to accomplish that dream. I have the thinking of starting a family younger is because of shear logic and being practical as I DO NOT want to be working still to pay for my children's education when I've retired!! *envy my dad's position now*


Being more matured@older in life, the thought of marriage and finding that girl that I would love waking up too every single morning and to say I LOVE YOU even when she is walking with a stick in her old age is a real question many of people my age think about. Trouble is: Where is that "she"??

I used to pray that God will give me that particular girl that I like at a point in my life but after awhile, I start to realise (through others' counselling) that the method wasn't the right way or rightly motivated. I might like her and fall crazily for her but would she make a good wife and mother is a totally different story as only God knows who best to suit us. Therefore, my direction is courtship now has change and the prayer is that God would motivate me to be patient even when circumstances seem otherwise (or have been rejected upon proposing) and be MAN enough to approach the girl with much respect&dignity and of course be prepared to be answered with a "NO" or "Sorry".
~~Hey, who said that it was easy being a guy huh? coz guys are scared of rejection too okay girls~~

Anyway, this issue would be 'diangkat' to God for His approval in each attempt I would take. Let's see what the future holds..


It has been 25th years since my little body came into existence and prayerfully with God's grace, many more years to come for me to be of fruitful use for His divine purpose. Birthday is a good occasion to remind myself that I'm here for a purpose and to be reminded that each second of air I breath is by the grace of GOD. What is in store for me in the near future, I do not know but what I know is this..God will not short change me for my faithfulness.